Confirmation from God

I've always said coincidences tell me I am where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes, they provide confirmation from God that I said what I was supposed to say. Eight hours after I published yesterday's post about binge eating, for example, I watched T.D. Jakes, and then I watched the Hagee Ministries program I'd DVRed earlier. When … Continue reading Confirmation from God

The Outlier – Why God Put My Brother on This Earth

A lot of people ask why God would do this to a child or why God would do that to a child. After I returned home from a trip to Maui in 2013, I wrote the following Facebook post about my brother, whose August 1 birthday didn't just make him an outlier in my family, … Continue reading The Outlier – Why God Put My Brother on This Earth

Judgmental Christians (My Story – How God Led Me to Become a Christian)

Despite graduating summa cum laude as an English and communication double major in 2009, I worked a $10/hour retail job for the last four months. To make the best of a bad situation, I used my creativity and organizational skills to improve the store's appearance because, pre-me, Google reviews described it as sad, decrepit, and … Continue reading Judgmental Christians (My Story – How God Led Me to Become a Christian)

God Still Speaks to Us

When I was a kid, a character on a "Night Court" episode thought God was communicating to her through her TV. Everyone else thought she was crazy. Likewise, you probably thought I was crazy last week when I said God showed me who I'm supposed to marry seven years ago, but God still speaks to … Continue reading God Still Speaks to Us

How God Leads Me to Do What He Wants

The last week of March, I started working yet another retail job. I enjoyed it for eight days. During my ninth shift, this skinny, black guy showed up, sans hello like the pharmacist I worked with in 2015, walked into the office, and debated whether he wanted to transfer to our store when the one … Continue reading How God Leads Me to Do What He Wants

Christianity Is a Process (Phase One: The Love Test)

Once upon a time, a kid named Alexander had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Thanks to my parents, boyfriends, and bosses, many of whom I haven't even mentioned in this memoir yet, I've had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad life. To cope, I took diet pills to wake up, downed … Continue reading Christianity Is a Process (Phase One: The Love Test)

How I Failed as a Freelance Writer (or, The Second Reason God Allowed Me to Become Homeless: I Stopped Using My Gifts and Talents — Part Three)

While working as a content manager for an abusive attorney who reminded me so much of my father that I went to my primary care physician for an antidepressant after swearing them off 10 years earlier and began binge eating in public, wolfing down entire boxes of Little Debbie Banana Twins at my desk, I … Continue reading How I Failed as a Freelance Writer (or, The Second Reason God Allowed Me to Become Homeless: I Stopped Using My Gifts and Talents — Part Three)

Adventures in Homelessness: Part 2 (or God Wants Me to Come to the End of Myself)

When my mom first fled to a domestic violence shelter with my 20-year-old diabetic, epileptic, and mentally disabled brother July 24, 1999, I feared that they would eventually become homeless. She only earned $19,000 per year as an aide on a bus for handicapped students, my brother's prescriptions cost over $1,200 per month, and they … Continue reading Adventures in Homelessness: Part 2 (or God Wants Me to Come to the End of Myself)

French Fries with My Father (or The Day I Played Prodigal Daughter)

The day I moved out of my abusive father's house in 1996, he predicted I'd "come crawling back someday." Being a prideful, independent woman, I swore to myself that would never happen. Over the years, I became even more prideful and independent as one guy after another screwed me. First, the mama's boy I'd moved … Continue reading French Fries with My Father (or The Day I Played Prodigal Daughter)

The Fullness of Time (A Testimony on the 11th Anniversary of My Mom’s Death)

Eleven years ago today, I drove to the hospital to visit my mom. For years, she had said, "When he goes, I go," meaning she would kill herself when my brother died. July 6, 2007, a Lakewood Hospital doctor called my cubicle at a law firm to tell me she'd already started -- by drinking … Continue reading The Fullness of Time (A Testimony on the 11th Anniversary of My Mom’s Death)

Happy Birthday to Me?

Saturday, July 15, which was my abusive father's 64th birthday and the 10th anniversary of my mom's suicide, I walked three miles home from a library and grocery store in mid-day heat and humidity to find two bracelets that an ex left hanging from my doorknob in a gift bag. Having discovered some upsetting-yet-not-surprising information … Continue reading Happy Birthday to Me?

Retail Therapy (Three Ways a Job at the Mall Improved My Self-Esteem—and Why You Shouldn’t Rely on One to Do the Same)

If you lived in a small town pre-internet and f'd up your future by worrying more about your father killing your mom than your grades, you had four job options post-high school graduation: salesperson at the local mall, burger flipper at a fast-food franchise, pump jockey at a gas station, or kennel assistant at a … Continue reading Retail Therapy (Three Ways a Job at the Mall Improved My Self-Esteem—and Why You Shouldn’t Rely on One to Do the Same)

Everything Happens for a Reason (or Why God Gave Me Food Allergies)

In 2011, my gynecologist felt a lump alongside my right breast and sent me to a hospital for my first mammogram. The morning after I returned home from a four-day Thanksgiving trip to St. Maarten, the radiology department called and said I needed to come in for a follow-up exam. “It could be nothing, it … Continue reading Everything Happens for a Reason (or Why God Gave Me Food Allergies)

Just Call Me Egypt (or Well, That Escalated Quickly)

In the 1980s, as a commercial for the movie "Alligator" frightened fellow potty-training children from sitting on the toilet for fear of being bitten on the bottom by the wayward gator, a daddy longleg climbed out of the commode between my knees as my feet dangled above the floor. More than 30 years later, my … Continue reading Just Call Me Egypt (or Well, That Escalated Quickly)

Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness Unless You Bow to Pele

Back at the hotel, I put my frosting in the fridge and burrow into my balcony like the ghost crabs that inhabit Hawaiian beaches. I’m both pale and a Cancer, so I can do this better than anyone. Working from my condo on the lip of Lake Erie the last year and a half has … Continue reading Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness Unless You Bow to Pele

Blindsided at Safeway

Around 10 a.m. my first day on Kauai, the personal injury lawyer I’ve been writing for since June 2013 and have not seen since May 2014 calls to tell me his partner is dissolving their partnership, so “there’s no sense in marketing the firm right now.” This is both a blessing and a bad thing. … Continue reading Blindsided at Safeway