God Sometimes Sends Us to Scary Places

While writing my July 9 post about things that have happened because God ordered my steps, I mentioned that God sometimes sends us to scary places. For me, that was my father's doorstep last July. If you read chapters 1, 5, and 6 of this memoir, you know he had some anger management issues. For … Continue reading God Sometimes Sends Us to Scary Places

Judgmental Christians (My Story – How God Led Me to Become a Christian)

Despite graduating summa cum laude as an English and communication double major in 2009, I worked a $10/hour retail job for the last four months. To make the best of a bad situation, I used my creativity and organizational skills to improve the store's appearance because, pre-me, Google reviews described it as sad, decrepit, and … Continue reading Judgmental Christians (My Story – How God Led Me to Become a Christian)

God Still Speaks to Us

When I was a kid, a character on a "Night Court" episode thought God was communicating to her through her TV. Everyone else thought she was crazy. Likewise, you probably thought I was crazy last week when I said God showed me who I'm supposed to marry seven years ago, but God still speaks to … Continue reading God Still Speaks to Us

Two Types of People to Avoid Dating

Earlier this month, I began sharing Christian dating advice, including how to tell if you're dating a Christian. Here are two types of people to avoid dating. You may be one of them, according to a Dr. Charles Stanley sermon that aired on Sunday. The First Type: People Who Lack Self-Control "Is there any area … Continue reading Two Types of People to Avoid Dating

The Affair: A Story of Sex and the Immature Man

Did King David have an affair with Bathsheba because he was immature? If so, he wouldn't be the first. "He doesn't know how to control the kid in him," T.D. Jakes said during a sermon TBN aired May 28. So, he slept with Bathsheba "a lot. For quite a while." When she got pregnant, King … Continue reading The Affair: A Story of Sex and the Immature Man

Another Reason I Nearly Killed Myself One Christmas Morning: People Suck (or How My Parents and Boyfriends Caused PTSD: Part One)

A week into my underemployment at a grocery store this summer, a freshly tattooed 20-year-old in the deli department borrowed a pen from me in the bakery after showing me his forearm-long tribute to his grandfather and telling me he was tired from playing softball with his family before work. Maybe 10 minutes later, he … Continue reading Another Reason I Nearly Killed Myself One Christmas Morning: People Suck (or How My Parents and Boyfriends Caused PTSD: Part One)

One Reason I Nearly Committed Suicide One Christmas Morning: Adverse Childhood Experiences

For years, I swore I would never kill myself as my so-called Christian father predicted I would when I was a kid, but stubbornness was no match for everything I'd endured by age 27, when I bought three boxes of sleeping pills Christmas morning. Although Psychology Today irresponsibly reported that "[p]sychiatrists believe" that over 90 … Continue reading One Reason I Nearly Committed Suicide One Christmas Morning: Adverse Childhood Experiences

Feeling Suicidal? I Can Relate … Because of My Family (There’s No Home for You Here)

In January, 21-year-old Washington State University quarterback Tyler Hilinski killed himself. Although he left a note, suicide investigators began interviewing people he knew to figure out why a young, successful football player who'd been carried off the field "Rudy"-style after helping his team beat Boise State in triple overtime last September would end his life … Continue reading Feeling Suicidal? I Can Relate … Because of My Family (There’s No Home for You Here)

My “Unique Blogger Award” Nomination (and the Importance of Telling Your Own Story)

I've been broke and unable to shop for anything beyond necessities since October 2014, so I didn't know tax-free weekend existed until I walked next door to Target during a break from my retail job a couple of weeks ago and saw a sign portending service workers' impending doom on the sliding glass door. Friday, … Continue reading My “Unique Blogger Award” Nomination (and the Importance of Telling Your Own Story)

Chapter 11: How Domestic Violence and My Relationship with a Mama’s Boy Affected Me (Part V: An Outspoken Personality, Problems with Porn, and Trust Issues—or How I Became My Parents)

According to Psych Central, children of alcoholics typically suffer from low self-esteem, wind up in unhealthy relationships, and tolerate behaviors that other people find unacceptable—presumably because they're used to them. It got two out of three right where I'm concerned. If you read my blog post about Facebook Live killer Steve Stephens or any of … Continue reading Chapter 11: How Domestic Violence and My Relationship with a Mama’s Boy Affected Me (Part V: An Outspoken Personality, Problems with Porn, and Trust Issues—or How I Became My Parents)

Chapter 9: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part III: Unhealthy Relationships)

In high school, I envied girls who had boyfriends and developed crushes on football players and nerds who sat beside or in front of me and talked to me as they used my desk to do tricep dips or passed me papers. The year my mom said short stories I'd written to make her proud … Continue reading Chapter 9: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part III: Unhealthy Relationships)

Chapter 8: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part II: Loneliness and Low Self-Esteem)

Comedian Louis C.K. once said men are "the No. 1 threat to women. Globally and historically, we're the No. 1 cause of injury and mayhem to women. We're the worst thing that ever happens to them." You don't have to convince a domestic violence survivor of that, but we still want to be loved. So, … Continue reading Chapter 8: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part II: Loneliness and Low Self-Esteem)

Chapter 7: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part I: Sound Sensitivity & Eating Disorders)

At the risk of riling up the self-righteous writers of nearly 2.6 million articles that surface when you click Google's autocomplete suggestion "stop blaming your parents for your problems," the domestic violence I endured as a child affected my adulthood by shaping my personality and impacting both my physical and mental health. For example, much to future … Continue reading Chapter 7: How Domestic Violence Affected Me (Part I: Sound Sensitivity & Eating Disorders)

Intermission: Bishop Noel Jones on Control Freaks, Jealousy, and Selfishness

I started writing CLEvangelism to promote some of the preaching I’ve heard on Radio 1000 since I became a Christian in 2014. It's been helping me get through the tests and trials God is putting me through, so it may help you. In light of the last chapter, I thought I would share what Bishop … Continue reading Intermission: Bishop Noel Jones on Control Freaks, Jealousy, and Selfishness

Chapter Six: Revelations: How My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Ended (in Three Stages)

In one of Ernest Hemingway’s books about bullfighting, an alcoholic told another character that he went bankrupt “[g]radually and then suddenly.” When asked what prompted it, he replied, “Friends. … False friends. Then I had creditors, too.” My parents’ marriage ended the same way for the same reasons. Stage 1: The Proverbial Straw For 15 … Continue reading Chapter Six: Revelations: How My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Ended (in Three Stages)

Chapter Five: Fear and Loathing Are Ineffective Motivators (Lessons My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Taught Me – Part 2)

The sunny September 1996 day that I signed a lease to move in with my boyfriend, my father said I was “a slut just like [my] mother,” disowned me, and forbade me from returning to the house. This did not prevent me from visiting my mom when I left, but it did affect the frequency … Continue reading Chapter Five: Fear and Loathing Are Ineffective Motivators (Lessons My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Taught Me – Part 2)

Chapter Four: Role Models (Lessons My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Taught Me – Part 1)

During a tearful sermon titled “One Life,” Joyce Meyer told a Winston-Salem audience about the abuse she suffered as a child. Like me, she prayed that her father would die or that her mother would leave him. Neither happened, but God gave her the strength to get through it, she said. Since then, she has … Continue reading Chapter Four: Role Models (Lessons My Parents’ Abusive Marriage Taught Me – Part 1)

Chapter Three: The Affair

Whatever my father saw the night he walked in on my mom and his best friend affected the rest of my life and shortened my mom’s, so it was nice to see that 91 percent of Americans believe adultery is “morally wrong,” according to The New York Times last May. But evidence points to the … Continue reading Chapter Three: The Affair

Chapter Two: Interference

Over the past 19 years, I have often wondered if there’s a generational curse in my genes because abuse, alcoholism, codependency, and suicide seem to run in my family the way others inherit a history of hypertension and heart disease. At least three Bible verses say God will punish children for their father’s sins, and … Continue reading Chapter Two: Interference