The Affair: A Story of Sex and the Immature Man

Did King David have an affair with Bathsheba because he was immature? If so, he wouldn’t be the first.

“He doesn’t know how to control the kid in him,” T.D. Jakes said during a sermon TBN aired May 28. So, he slept with Bathsheba “a lot. For quite a while.”

bathsheba became pregnant

When she got pregnant, King David brought her husband, Uriah, home from battle and said, “You’ve been gone too long. Go home to your wife,” hoping they’d have sex so it would look like Uriah got her pregnant.

Unfortunately, Uriah didn’t feel comfortable having fun while his comrades were suffering so he slept outside David’s door instead.

“So now, David, who was first a luster and then became a fornicator — now he’s playing around with his next step,” Jakes said. “[And as James 1:15 says], ‘Sin, when it is full grown, bringeth forth death,'” so he sent Uriah to the front lines to get him killed.

Thinking he’d plotted his way out of a bad situation, David resumed life as usual. Then, a prophet named Nathan knocked on his door.

immature men are out of control

“See, every man needs somebody in his life who has the right to confront [him] about [his] behavior,” Jakes said. “I mean without form and fashion and [kowtowing]. Somebody needs to be able to say, ‘You’re crazy, man.’ You need to have somebody in your life who has the permission to confront you. Nathan was anointed to deal with kings. … He knows exactly how to approach David.”

immature man sees other people's sins but not his own

Nathan tells the former shepherd about a traveler who stole a lamb from a poor family.

“David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, ‘As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die!'” the book of Samuel says. “He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”

“Isn’t it funny how we always know what ought to be done about somebody else’s situation?” Jakes asked. “David had the ability to see other men’s sins, but he couldn’t see his own. One of the problems with your own greatness is … you lose all perspective and start believing your own press. … [But] pride cometh before a fall.”

Two Things the Immature Man Didn’t Realize

immature man didn't realize god saw his sins

First, “David didn’t realize that God knew about the kid in him, that God had seen him,” Jakes said.

Second, “[H]e didn’t realize how much God had blessed him … until Nathan said, ‘Do you not know you [were] a nothing? You were a shepherd boy. Nobody was even thinking about you. When God picked you up and brought you to the forefront, he gave you your master’s house. He gave you your master’s wives. He gave you your name and your reputation.’

“See, it’s a funny thing: most of the time you don’t realize how good God has been to you until you compromise the goodness of God in your life, till you threaten the goodness of God in your life, till you’ve brought yourself down to a point where you could lose it all, and all of a sudden it becomes valuable because you’re about to lose it. Life becomes valuable to people that are dying. …

“A marriage becomes more important when somebody is about to leave you, and you begin to say, ‘You know what? This marriage wasn’t so bad! I wish I’d have kept this thing together.’

“A job becomes more important when it’s gone.

“We have a tendency to take the blessings of God for granted. David forgot to be thankful for how good God had been to him.”

But in 2 Timothy 3:2, unthankfulness lies right in the middle of other sins.

unthankfulness is a sin

God’s Word to the Immature Man

god gets revenge

“Nathan says, ‘Listen, you’re not getting away from this clean. You’re gonna lose some stuff. The sword will not depart from your house. Your children are gonna rise up and abuse your own wives. Your relationships are gonna be scandalous and destroyed. He said, ‘You did it in secret, but I’m gonna bring you to an open shame. I’m gonna embarrass you in public. I’m gonna bring you to total humiliation. I will stop shy of killing you, but I will break you, I will crush you, I will humble you, but I will not destroy you.'”

The Immature Man’s Reaction

David begins to pray.

immature man prays like crazy for forgiveness

“Have you ever said to God, ‘Lord, if you get me out of [this I swear I’ll never do it again]’?” Jakes asked. “‘I know this was my fault, I know I’ve been stupid, I know I didn’t serve you right, I know I didn’t listen [to] the warning signs. I know I acted [like] a fool, I know I messed up, but, Lord, down in my heart, I love you. And, Jesus, if you would just please get me outta this, I promise that you will never have to talk to me no more about this,’ and you start negotiating to God like a kid. Have you ever talked to a kid that’s about to get a whooping …? … Have you ever had to go to God like that? … Have you ever prayed scared? … I’m talking about fear where food rots in your gut and sleep evades your eyes. I’m talking about fear where you get down on your knees and say, ‘God, please have mercy. Have mercy on me.’ Fear.” …

When Bathsheba’s baby became deathly ill, David wrapped himself in sackcloth and ashes.

the immature man wrapped himself in sackcloth and ashes in repentance

Why God Allowed This to Happen

god gets a switch to whip the immature man
Photo: USA Today

“And what has happened here is God has allowed David to encounter this kid-ish behavior before he goes any further into the kingdom,” Jakes said. “[H]e has confronted it now so that he can correct it before it totally destroys him later. And God will put you in a mode of correction before whatever [is] kid-ish in you destroys the king in you. God is correcting you. … It’s a painful thing, it’s a painful thing, I’m telling you. It’s a painful thing, y’all, when God starts correcting you. You haven’t had your hind end whipped till God [picks] up a switch. When God picks a switch, he knows what kind of switch to pick to bring you up under control. …

“His kingdom has been shattered.

“His name has been shattered.

“He’s been humiliated. …

“God convinced David. ‘David, do you see what the kid in you did to your king? You went from lust to adultery, from adultery to murder. you’ve compromised your favor. You’ve lost your influence, and you’re down to nothing.’

“And David’s just hangin’ out there, weeping, crying out before God, trying to get his place back because, see, what you have to be able to do [is] you have to be able to repent. You have to be able to repent. If you can’t repent, you can’t be restored. You’ve gotta be able to repent. You’ve gotta find a place where the — the Bible calls it a place of repentance. It’s a grace to repent. The ability … to say, ‘I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and I’m sorry, and I’m ready to change.’ It’s a grace that God gives you to repent. You can’t do it whenever you want to do it. You have to do it when God gives you the grace to repent. To find a place of repentance is a gift from God.

“David starts repenting.


“Does anybody know what it is to repent? I mean where God opens your soul up, and you say, ‘Godddd, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I am sorry, and if you get me out of this, I will never do it again. I have come to the end of myself. Whatever I’ve needed to learn, I’ve learned it. I’ve grown up. I’m thinkin’ straight. I’m understanding straight. I’m speaking straight. I got my act together. I got my head on straight. Forgive me, lord. Try me — create in me a clean heart, renew a right spirit in me. Lay not this to my charge. Forgive me. Purge me with hyssop. Wash me, and I shall be clean. Deliver me. Take it out of my system. Take it out of my vein. Take it out of my heart. I don’t want it — not another drink. I don’t want it — not another [drug] deal. Deliver me.’

“And David is wondering if he’s gone so far or done so bad that maybe God doesn’t want him anymore. …

“David perceived the baby was dead … and he got up, washed his face, changed his clothes, and started coming toward the house of the lord because even though the baby was dead, that was the bad news. [T]he good news was God was ready to restore him. … It was at this point when he wrote [Psalm 122:1]. I was glad when I got the word that I was forgiven. I was glad when I found out that God would wash me and restore me. I was glad when i found out that God would give me back what I’d lost. … This poor man cried, and the lord heard him and delivered him out.

“And in the middle of your dilemma, the enemy will try to tell you, ‘Listen, you are so messed up — you are so messed up, you did so much mess [there’s] no way God could want you. You messed up your marriage, you messed up your career, you slept with another woman, you slept with another man, you’ve done some horrible stuff.’ I want you to hear this word, and I want you to let it get way down in your spirit, because this is the sum total of everything I have to say to you today. The lord loves you — [both] the king and the kid. He loves the right and the wrong, the weak and the strong, and the bruised and the fallen and the battered part of you, and he’s waiting on you to get your act together, and it should begin today.”

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